The Land of Grimney - The Illustrated Adventures of Cora Pearl, aged 12

But I already have a girlfriend and it is Barbara Woodhouse
but If I wasn't so much in love with Babs - I would probably yank the pants off the new one
that should be ok? - shouldn't it - coy doesn't work for me I belong to a pack

cannot wait to meet your friend Meadow - what's his name - is it daisy?

Yes that's absolutely fine Wagger, Go to the top of the class! Erm are you a boy dog or a girl dog?

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I'm a girl dog but I've made an exception for Barbara she is my dog god.

Hello Wagger....you must be the fearsome pit bull terrier! How are you? Not that I really want to know, me being a human sheep and all that.

Oh you are soo fluffy - I like it!

Yes I worked with a human once and he never asked how humans were and when I asked why - he replied quite simply that he didn't care - so at least he was honest and not a sheep - bah

oh how rude of me - sorry

Oh really! I hope you are not taking the Saint Michael out of my accent! You just be careful there hound dog, don't you go stepping on my blue suede shoes. For all you know I might be a wolf in sheep's clothing! I hope you don't mind me saying but....you are looking a bit woof. You are in love with a wood house? Are you barking mad?

well I was in love with Rodney Trotter too but no-one seems to know who he is either?!

I think everyone needs to go to telly school

When I was a young pup we never had many bones thrown so I watched telly addicts and became a telly addict myself

*violins playing in the background*

*barks madly*

Meadow looks at all the animals in a 'What on earth is wagger talking about sort of way

What's a telly when it's at home Wagger? You are Really, Really strange! You talk about things and people that nobody in Grimney has ever heard of! You remind me of me when I first came to Grimney!

Look, I reckon we should give up on the training and let nature take its course. What do you say we all go to the Blue Dragon and give it a go?

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But the TV was the start of a revolution - there's been many a revolt on there - it may help us become more humanised?

I will follow Shemp to the Blue dragon!

Yes....just a word of warning young pup.......Don't mention telly or Barbara Woodhouse in the Blue Dragon.....We don't want to get thrown out! We'll see you down there. Kristo's in the bath.....again. He can follow later if he wants to.

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