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Tanza
 Post subject: Re: WORD WIZARD'S HOUSE
PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2012 9:21 pm 
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Location: Mostly on the floor
Meadow...what are you doing here? I was told to come here to sort out some robber or something. I said I would, but I'm not that bothered. Hoping to find some food and ale though. I hope you have a large privy. I'm busting my girth here! Yes, yes...I know I promised not to make a mess, but I can't help it. I'm just built that way...I break stuff. I do try to tidy up after myself. If it was just an object, I burn it. If it was living before I broke it, I eat it. I'm a very good creature...most days. Okay...you got me...I lied. I just can't do the lying to get myself out of things...um...thing. So, here it is. I'm hungry and I need to defecate. Which one would you suggest I do first? I usually get it wrong and then things REALLY get messy.

I've been casting with the Queen's Coven. I was in need of a spell to help all this horrid warts on my knees to go away. Shouldn't have bothered...Elvira took one look at them and informed me they were just a build-up of festering skin. Still...at least Nydas had a great spell to sing to me. Cheered me right up it did.

I'm trying to avoid Uncle Val. He's been touching my buttocks at every opportunity. I was hoping he wouldn't find me here.


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Meadow
 Post subject: Re: WORD WIZARD'S HOUSE
PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2012 9:31 pm 
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Oh.....er.....Hello Tanza. What do you think of my new digs? Now don't go getting me thrown out will you? I went to the Blue Dragon to see my new boyfriend and.....when I got back to the Tavern it was full of strangers so.....being the cautious kind I didn't go in. Luckily I bumped into Word Wizard and when i told him of my plight he gave me a key and said I could come and stay here.

The robber's really nice, he's been making me at home. In fact he's just about to fill his boot with green wine for me. Would you like some? There's a spare shoe lying around somewhere, you can have yours in that.

I've heard that Philomena and Gwenillian are staying at Robert Pearl's house. Not sure what's going on at the tavern. I got my stuff from there last night, wore my invisibility cloak so nobody saw me.

There's some talking salad in the larder if you're hungry. Word Wizard said he didn't mind me having company at the house.....as long as there are no saucy shenanigans, he doesn't want to upset the neighbours apparently but...........I think the nearest neighbours must be ten miles away so I don't know what he thinks I'm going to be getting up to! :roll:

All I ask is please don't make a mess.

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Meadow
 Post subject: Re: WORD WIZARD'S HOUSE
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 12:52 am 
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Takes a sip of wine from the boot and shoots up to the ceiling.

Hey Housekeeper type person, did you lace my wine when you put it in the boot?

Is it my imagination or is that handsome pot plant winking at me?

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Cedric
 Post subject: Re: WORD WIZARD'S HOUSE
PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 1:13 am 
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Location: Pot plant sat upon the window ledge.
Yes madam! It is your imagination, I am certainly not winking at you. I have a insect chewing on my stem and it's making me twitch. Would you be a dear and flick it off me? It's driving me nuts. Now that big smelly beast is gone I could do with a drink! Take a leaf out of my book and don't get on the wrong side of Tanza. I'm just glad she's not a vegetarian.


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KristoBig
 Post subject: Re: WORD WIZARD'S HOUSE
PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 1:32 am 
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Joined: Sat Mar 28, 2009 12:34 pm
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Location: The Sunday roast
I'm having an identity crisis! Not only that, I can't decide if this lipstick goes with these pearls?

*Looks in the mirror*

Oh look at me.... No matter what I do I still look like a pig.... Mutton dressed as lamb looks better. Oh Cedric what am I to do?

*Looks at Meadow*.

And who is this? Oh I hope Word Wizard hasn't invited you to dinner! You're having... PORK!!!!!!!!!!

*Rolls upon the floor squealing hysterically*.
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Cedric
 Post subject: Re: WORD WIZARD'S HOUSE
PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 1:42 am 
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Location: Pot plant sat upon the window ledge.
Calm down cheeky chops you'll soil your loins. Just look at yourself now. You're far too sophisticated to end up as dinner. The wizard only eats stupid creatures. There's still quite a lot left of the postman.

*Chuckles*

Just remember even if you do end up with your head on a dish, you're a rare creature of quality. I'm not sure you'll ever be medium rare, but even as dish of the day you'll be offered up to those who aren't cultured enough to appreciate you.

*Shakes his leaves*.

Pearls before swine! That's right isn't it Meadow?


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KristoBig
 Post subject: Re: WORD WIZARD'S HOUSE
PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 1:56 am 
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Location: The Sunday roast
*Stops squealing and stands up on his trotters*.

Dish of the day?

*Kristo gazes once more into the mirror and flutters his eyelashes*.

Could I really be dish of the day? Am I that special?


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Cedric
 Post subject: Re: WORD WIZARD'S HOUSE
PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 2:11 am 
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Location: Pot plant sat upon the window ledge.
Dish of the day?! Oh my dear fat pig. You can think bigger than that! You'll be dish of the week! Just look at you, you're a cracking piece of crackling! Believe me, if I was a human bean and you were at my house late at night. You'd be staying for breakfast.

*Chuckles and rustles his leaves*.


Last edited by Cedric on Sat Jun 16, 2012 2:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

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KristoBig
 Post subject: Re: WORD WIZARD'S HOUSE
PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 2:13 am 
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Location: The Sunday roast
Really? Oh Cedric. You do say such lovely things. Yes. But you're right I do need to lose a bit of wight. Dare I say it, I am a bit porky!


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Cedric
 Post subject: Re: WORD WIZARD'S HOUSE
PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 2:19 am 
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Location: Pot plant sat upon the window ledge.
Yes. I'd be having bacon sandwiches. Few slices off that big backside of yours and we'd get the weight off!

*Chuckles raucously shaking the plant pot*.
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