The Tootalu
The Tootalu, he grew and grew
And lived on pints of ale and stew
He scoffed when others said of him
‘You’re growing big, why don’t you slim?’
‘Sort out your weight, or you’ll get ill’
‘Surely now you’ve had your fill?’
But the Tootalu paid no heed
Because all he ever did was feed
His swelling belly with hot stew
And never ever used a loo
This did little to reduce his weight
And led him to an awful fate
One day when he had drunk much ale
His blubbery skin it turned quite pale
His bottom rumbled and he blew
His body split and fell in two
He learned his lesson, but too late
And now he waits at Heaven’s gate
Because this creature is so wide
Dear God won’t let him step inside.
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