The Land of Grimney - The Illustrated Adventures of Cora Pearl, aged 12

Oh dear! If there is anything I can do to help just let me know!

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http://barbarafromplanetzorg.wordpress.com

Hello? Have I come at a bad time? I heard the mermaid over here is looking for some bar staff and I'd like to apply? I work at the Silver Trumpet in Toraz but the landlord is a right letch... Heard Philomena is a decent sort, so I'd thought I'd see if I can work here.

Hello No you have come at the perfect time. Philomena is looking for staff. I will give her a call....

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http://barbarafromplanetzorg.wordpress.com

This place looks pretty nice, I mean so much nicer on the inside than the outside. So you think she might give me a job, I've got references and everything. Worked behind a bar for twenty year!

*She looks proud.*

I'm a hard working and I don't take any nonsense..

Can you start tonight? Arabo ella will be around to help out but I need to go out... I'll give you the guided tour. I'll give you a week's trial and then... then I shall be going on a trip and will leave you in charge if you are ready.

*Philomena dries her tears and smiles.*

Yes you have come at a good time. I'm Philomena, what's your name?

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http://themermaidmuse.wordpress.com/

That's cool! I heard you were lovely and for once Darius wasn't speaking rubbish.

*She grins and puts her hand out to Philomena.*

I'm Hosta. I'll work real hard, you won't regret this!

Hello Hosta

Are you married? Only.....I don't need any more competition and.....the clam is definitely out of bounds ok?

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http://barbarafromplanetzorg.wordpress.com

Married? Nah! Twice married and twice divorced... I'd say the mermaid will outshadow us all, you ever seen anyone so beautiful? She married to Urat Holme?

*She looks Meadow up and down.*

You've got beer strains on your dress... And butter and crumbs.

Clam? You mean Mad Old Morty? Ha, don't worry love I would touch him when he was human and I would not touch him now!

Urat? No, she is getting married to Kalvos soon. You knew Morton before he was a clam? What was he like? He was supposed to be a handsome wizard

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http://barbarafromplanetzorg.wordpress.com

He was easy on the eye, but his eye was always roving if you know what I mean. Married humans, elves, even vampires left right and centre. There was always someone new on his arm... Still with that golden hair and torso like a marble statue there were beauty queens and glamour models lining up for him.

*She laughs.*

That has all changed now, he must only get the ugly, mad or desperate... I'd count Zevvi as mad, she is gooey over the selfish clam!

Who is Kalvos? Sounds like a knight!