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Dear denizens of Grimney,
If you are reading this, it can mean only one thing. I have now passed through the alimentary canal of my dearest friend, Hogstance Bilgecrack. I've known this day would come for a very, very long time. It has long been a tradition among the Bilgecracks that they must devour the first human that they come into contact with. A rite of passage if you will...in this case, the passage will be mine. I know I'm not, nor have I ever been, strictly 'human'...but having been raised by a family of humans, I'm probably more human than Wibble.
Dear Hoggy and I first met whilst trapping radigans, back when we were mere younglings. We immediately formed a bond that we both believed would last forever. However, this is not the way of the world, dear friends. It’s a dog-eat-dog – or in this case, an ogre-eat-me, world. When Hoggy discovered what he would have to, during a preadolescence ceremony his family call “The Rumbling”, he did all he could to fight the tradition but ultimately it was beyond his control.
I implore you dear Grimnians. Do not judge Hogtance Bilgecrack. Do not treat him as an outcast. He is a true friend and the finest ogre you could ever wish to meet. I am not sad or afraid. What must happen must happen. I would not exchange the bond I have with Hoggy for anything in this world. As such, I have instructed him to present this letter when the deed is done.
Please...give him a chance, and I’m sure he will find a place in your hearts, just as he did in mine. I have no doubt that he will be feeling terrible, possibly something to do with the fact that he will have eaten me too quickly (he never did understand the merits of mastication).
It has been an honour to be among you all!
Your friend,
LegoStan
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