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| Mental health http://www.thelandofgrimney.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=89 |
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| Author: | Andie99uk [ Thu Apr 14, 2011 10:50 am ] |
| Post subject: | Mental health |
5 years ago, aged 35, I suffered 3 strokes. These left me unable to run my business (I had a Pub) and as a side effect, Bi-Polar depression. I had had bouts of depression in the past, but never anything like I feel these days. This is the first time I have written any poetry about it. I volenteer at a local community radio station & have done shows on mental health, but this is a new step for me. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it. B! There is this daemon in my head It makes me a nasty Dad for weeks at a time When the daemon goes on holiday, I feel free as a bird And I am loved at home again When the daemon is in full flight I am shackled to the ground Unable to raise even my head off the bed of nails Pills do not make everything right When I am free, I work like a demon Making the most of the little time I have Before I feel the shadow over me, dragging me back Got to do the most I can in no time at all My family hates me when I am low Almost as much as I hate myself I want to leave and run away, live on the streets To alleviate their pain I am stuck like this for the rest of my life Popping pills that don’t really work Hurting my family because of who I am Hoping they love me, despite of who I’ve become |
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| Author: | Elvira [ Thu Apr 14, 2011 7:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mental health |
Hi Andie, Thank you for posting this poem, it's powerful stuff. I think it is good for us all to learn about how it is to be another person; to understand more than just what it's like to be youself. I wish I could give you a potion to wash your sorrow away. I hope that the times when you are free of that demon get longer and longer. I look forward to reading more of your words. |
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| Author: | Baggage [ Thu Apr 14, 2011 7:37 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mental health |
Know EXACTLY how you feel  , but probably wouldn't be able to put it into words. Lovely to read something like this from a male perspective. Parenthood is all about guilt, but I've told myself there's no point feeling guilty about the things you can't control. I just try extra hard when I'm well  Lovely poem, hope there's more where that came from |
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| Author: | Nydas [ Thu Apr 14, 2011 9:59 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mental health |
Wow Andie, that poem has real impact. Humble am I. Clearly you are also aware of the power of music! I am just creating a radio station on IAC music called Sanity Central and am looking for music to add to it to create a space where people can go for audio healing from mental illness. http://iacmusic.com/sanitycentral |
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| Author: | BeingDoris [ Sat Apr 16, 2011 4:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mental health |
Wow, very powerful stuff and all the more so because it's from the heart. Have you shown it to your family? I wonder if they read it whether you would discover another side to their feelings about your illness. I suspect they hate it, not you. |
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| Author: | GavinPaulCarter [ Sun Apr 17, 2011 1:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mental health |
That is terribly traumatic and I can only agree with the previous posts. Life can be such a painful journey, perhaps words can heal, so writing poems and expressing your feelings is beneficial, as others may be experiencing similar things. Do continue to share, and we will certainly continue to read. |
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| Author: | Andie99uk [ Wed Jun 22, 2011 5:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mental health |
I really wish I could post more often, but it takes a lot out of me writing. I have however just finished this piece, I hope you enjoy it. Why do you belittle me because I am different? I’m not different, I’m ill I have a problem in my brain you cannot see It makes me scared I loathe the fact I cannot control myself properly You cannot see why Because you cannot see any sign of illness You treat me like a fool You do not know where my talents lie Or even what they are You don’t want to find out why I do what I do You want to keep me belittled I work hard to stay on the right side of your version of sanity It’s difficult to do You condemn me for past transgressions Bo do not offer forgiveness Tell me then. Why should I respect you and your out-dated way of behaving? |
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| Author: | WaylandCybersmith [ Wed Jun 22, 2011 7:34 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mental health |
Thank you for your poems and sharing bits of yourself with us. I was going to send you a message about the experiences of my friends who suffer from depression and bi-polar disorder, but decided not to. Not suffering from depression myself (though, with my humour, I have been said to be a carrier), who am I to comment? Instead, all I will say is this. Take heart. It CAN be beaten. You CAN slay this monster. |
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| Author: | Gwenllian [ Wed Jun 22, 2011 10:44 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mental health |
Thank you Andie, beautiful, sad words, I can relate a little having suffered from depression for many years, happily for me the bouts of "normality" have got longer and the stay under the duvet days have got less, I hope that very soon someone can balance your medication to help you too. I do find that as Nydas said music is very healing as is writing poetry, somehow putting it down in words, gets it out of your head. Look forward to hearing more from you 
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| Author: | Witch [ Fri Jun 24, 2011 10:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Mental health |
Truely amazing, Good wishes and health Hope being in Grimney helps as it does me but for completely different reasons. |
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