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Elvira
 Post subject: Body
PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 8:44 am 
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Posts: 188
Location: Hampshire
So then,

Listen body, you and me,
It's time we had a chat,
I'm noticing some changes,
And I don't like where we're at.

Quite without my really noticing
You've improvised a lot,
Now I'm going to say this
Loud and clear....
I want this all to stop!

Just leave the skin,
It's getting thin,
And focus on the eyes,
They're focusing quite poorly,
Oh,
Let's not forget the thighs.

There is no need to emphasise
My slightly saggy bum,
It's a blessing it's behind me,
Throw a desperate girl a crumb!

Desist with all this aging
It's a rotten thing to do,
I'm asking for a break here,
Just remember, this is you!

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Tanza
 Post subject: Re: Body
PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 8:59 am 
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I hear ya loud and clear!! Great poem...sadly, I can relate!!
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Elvira
 Post subject: Re: Body
PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 9:14 am 
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Thanks Tanza, I'm working hard on an anti-aging potion. I'm pretty sure that the base solution is vodka.....

I'm now following you on twitter @lightdarkshade

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PhilomenaAquitaine
 Post subject: Re: Body
PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 9:18 am 
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No Elvira. The answer is to not drink, smoke, run 10 miles a day eat only wheatgerm and placenta smoothies, never have sex, and never ever smile... On second thoughts vodka seems like a plan!

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Tanza
 Post subject: Re: Body
PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 9:33 am 
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Location: Mostly on the floor
Every morning, I look in the mirror and I shout, ''Get out of my way old woman...I'm trying to do my hair!''.

I swear one day, her hand will come out of the mirror and grab me by the throat and she'll say, ''Stop saying that to me every morning...it's really pissing me off!''. Then she'll say, ''Now, go and make a cup of boring tea, sit on your boring sofa and be a boring old munter and a terrible role model to your children!!''.

If she wasn't me...why I'd....

Gosh...I really confused myself typing all that. I think I'll make a cuppa, do a bit of prank calling to people I don't like and have a lie down on the sofa with a spliff to recover.

Oh my God...she's right!!
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HogstanceBilgecrack
 Post subject: Re: Body
PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 11:16 am 
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:mrgreen:

Ogres don't have this problem. We're born fat, wrinkly and fugly...and stay that way.
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PhilomenaAquitaine
 Post subject: Re: Body
PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 3:05 pm 
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Can I join you on the sofa, Tanza? I have got a box of after eight mints we can share although I do tend to get the giggles during prank calls.

Oh Hoggy, you may be a fat, wrinkled ogre but it makes you very nice to cuddle!

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