The Land of Grimney - The Illustrated Adventures of Cora Pearl, aged 12

There's nothing wrong with me
Although I have panic attacks sometimes
& arthritis in my knee
Currently punished for my crimes
But there's nothing wrong, you see!

I've never felt better
I may have lost my marbles
& as you know, I'm a bed wetter
My throat involuntarily gargles
But I've never, ever, felt better!

There's nothing wrong with me
I look really good for my age
Although others suggest cosmetic surgery
Which does make me rather rage
& I'm too late to apply for that bursary
But I still think I look good for my age!

I'm fine at this time of life
Although I cannot make it up the stairs
& my commode needs emptying
Bed sores rub whilst in & out of chairs
Because that sherry bottle is tempting

There's nothing wrong with me
I've never felt better
I look really good for my age
Now that I'm a jet setter
As I said, I'm fine at this time of life
On my mobility scooter
Sitting next to my wife
As she keeps honking my hooter!