The Land of Grimney - The Illustrated Adventures of Cora Pearl, aged 12

Baby grows inside of me
Creative juices exploding
Cute present given by one of many
But my body is now imploding
9 months is too long to wait
& I'm feeling sickly
Keep getting out of bed late
Legs feel all prickly
Can't bend down to shave
Or see below my belly
No longer have man slave
To help me put on my welly
I had to break the news
To all of you Grimnians
From Olympic training blues
to twin tummy dominions.

Congratulations Tanith! Erm.............Whose is it?

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I think you'll find your body is exploding rather than imploding... Nature has a way of making everything go outwards not inwards. Still once the morning sickness I found pregnancy lovely, despite my husband's insistence that he was still entitled to half the bed space. You can also blame every mistake you make on baby brain. So congrats Tanith!

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Meadow - Brother Kallion's I think

Philomena - thanks but my stomach feels as though it has collapsed violently inwards

I found mine had a tendency to explode violently everytime I smelt olives or cheap aftershave.

Tips for morning sickness: eat a banana or ginger nut biscuit before you get out of bed. Although I found the tiredness more of a killer than the sickness.

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Tanith, Philomena - you are both putting me off pregnancy, I think I'll adopt!

Congrats to my not so athletic friend Tan!

Mmmmm can't give you any advice about pregnancy Tanith as I have never been up the duff but I hope that naughty monk stands by you!

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Thanks for the tips, Philomena
I keep craving Bumblecrack@s toad pie

Thanks also, Alexa but probably best not knowing who the father is - then I won't worry what it looks like for 9 months!

Never had any specific cravings, although I had plenty of aversions. Two things I could safely eat: jacket potato with cheese and beans or tuna and sweetcorn sandwich. Once someone I worked with kindly went to the shop to get me a sandwich and came back with tuna and CUCUMBER! Apparently the look of disgust of my face was so awful that they went straight back to the shop and got me one with tuna and sweetcorn. Second trimester was a bit better, no sickness but I did once cry for 45mins because the OH asked me to water the plants in what I considered to be a abrupt manner. Third trimester less tears, but I couldn't reach my feet and turning over in bed became a ten minute operation involving a lot of huffing and puffing. However, motherhood is awesome and I'm sure the baby will look like you so don't worry!

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