The Land of Grimney - The Illustrated Adventures of Cora Pearl, aged 12

If you can name a tune in the first bar
It's likely a classic
If you can't name the song at all
It is probably something tragic
If you can hum the tune by the second bar
It's good to go
If you can sing the whole tune through
Including the beats
It's time to put on that show
But if by the last bar
You can't remember anything
It is definitely because you are p!$$ed