The Land of Grimney - The Illustrated Adventures of Cora Pearl, aged 12

I know what human men think
If you join them for a drink,
They believe you want them in your bed
But bleurgh no thanks, I'd rather be dead!

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http://themermaidmuse.wordpress.com/

I don't think that's true
You've a funny view of men
I've had drinks with many
They were platonic friends
They were happy to chat
and never led me astray
but after saying that
The majority of them were gay

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http://barbarafromplanetzorg.wordpress.com

Meadow you are not cursed with beauty as mine
That makes men act up all the time.
My beauty is cannot be dimmed down
That it drives all the idiots from town
To paw around my graceful limbs,
Even the vicar who should sing hymns.

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http://themermaidmuse.wordpress.com/

I've a plan to give you peace
Make that tiresome flirting cease
Wash off your make up
Ruffle your hair
Wear a baggy dress
Insread of being half bare
Rip your tights
and scuff your shoes
Take away those pleasant views
Finally:
Throw yourself at every man you see
You won't see them for dust
(It works for me!)

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http://barbarafromplanetzorg.wordpress.com

Meadow don't you think I've tried
My sensual beauty is to strong to hide!
Even with no make up on,
Hair messy and sackcloth on
My mermaid blood is just too strong,
My face is like an enchanted song.

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http://themermaidmuse.wordpress.com/

I don't know what else to suggest
Sorry dear I've tried my best
You'll just have to go with the flow
You might enjoy it, you never know!

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http://barbarafromplanetzorg.wordpress.com

Perhaps you could flirt with all my suitors?
So I can stay ahead of the pursuitors.
There is no-one who can repel me like you,
It's a talent that belongs to very few.

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http://themermaidmuse.wordpress.com/

Yes I have to agree with you
Men don't stick to me like glue
They can't get far enough away
It's disconcerting I must say
There must be something wrong with me
It drives them mad and makes them flee
Whenever I reveal my feelings
It makes the North Road seem appealing!

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http://barbarafromplanetzorg.wordpress.com

See it as a not a curse but a gift,
Your skill at making mankind shift.
You see all the trouble that I cause
Kalvos would have been safer fighting wars.
You save yourself the same heartache,
You're better off with chocolate cake.

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http://themermaidmuse.wordpress.com/

Mmmmm chocolate cake
Much more fun
When I lick my lips
It doesn't run!!

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http://barbarafromplanetzorg.wordpress.com