The Land of Grimney - The Illustrated Adventures of Cora Pearl, aged 12

5 years ago, aged 35, I suffered 3 strokes. These left me unable to run my business (I had a Pub) and as a side effect, Bi-Polar depression. I had had bouts of depression in the past, but never anything like I feel these days.
This is the first time I have written any poetry about it. I volenteer at a local community radio station & have done shows on mental health, but this is a new step for me.
Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it.


B!
There is this daemon in my head
It makes me a nasty Dad for weeks at a time
When the daemon goes on holiday, I feel free as a bird
And I am loved at home again

When the daemon is in full flight
I am shackled to the ground
Unable to raise even my head off the bed of nails
Pills do not make everything right

When I am free, I work like a demon
Making the most of the little time I have
Before I feel the shadow over me, dragging me back
Got to do the most I can in no time at all

My family hates me when I am low
Almost as much as I hate myself
I want to leave and run away, live on the streets
To alleviate their pain

I am stuck like this for the rest of my life
Popping pills that don’t really work
Hurting my family because of who I am
Hoping they love me, despite of who I’ve become

_________________
http://www.missdemena.co.uk

Know EXACTLY how you feel , but probably wouldn't be able to put it into words. Lovely to read something like this from a male perspective. Parenthood is all about guilt, but I've told myself there's no point feeling guilty about the things you can't control. I just try extra hard when I'm well
Lovely poem, hope there's more where that came from

Wow Andie, that poem has real impact. Humble am I.

Clearly you are also aware of the power of music!
I am just creating a radio station on IAC music called Sanity Central and am looking for music to add to it to create a space where people can go for audio healing from mental illness.
http://iacmusic.com/sanitycentral

_________________
Nydas
http://www.walkerbroad.co.uk
http://www.thesanitycompany.co.uk/

Wow, very powerful stuff and all the more so because it's from the heart. Have you shown it to your family? I wonder if they read it whether you would discover another side to their feelings about your illness. I suspect they hate it, not you.

I really wish I could post more often, but it takes a lot out of me writing. I have however just finished this piece, I hope you enjoy it.

Why do you belittle me because I am different?
I’m not different, I’m ill

I have a problem in my brain you cannot see
It makes me scared

I loathe the fact I cannot control myself properly
You cannot see why

Because you cannot see any sign of illness
You treat me like a fool

You do not know where my talents lie
Or even what they are

You don’t want to find out why I do what I do
You want to keep me belittled

I work hard to stay on the right side of your version of sanity
It’s difficult to do

You condemn me for past transgressions
Bo do not offer forgiveness

Tell me then.
Why should I respect you and your out-dated way of behaving?

Thank you for your poems and sharing bits of yourself with us.

I was going to send you a message about the experiences of my friends who suffer from depression and bi-polar disorder, but decided not to. Not suffering from depression myself (though, with my humour, I have been said to be a carrier), who am I to comment?

Instead, all I will say is this. Take heart. It CAN be beaten. You CAN slay this monster.

_________________
Love all, forgive all, show mercy, condemn no-one.
May the King's peace be upon your body, mind, soul and spirit.
May love and joy be ever with you.

http://www.waycyber.com

Thank you Andie, beautiful, sad words, I can relate a little having suffered from depression for many years, happily for me the bouts of "normality" have got longer and the stay under the duvet days have got less, I hope that very soon someone can balance your medication to help you too. I do find that as Nydas said music is very healing as is writing poetry, somehow putting it down in words, gets it out of your head.
Look forward to hearing more from you

Truely amazing,

Good wishes and health

Hope being in Grimney helps as it does me but for completely different reasons.

_________________
Witch