The Land of Grimney - The Illustrated Adventures of Cora Pearl, aged 12

there's always one
One rotten apple in a cart
One squashed strawberry in a punnet
One hurt by a flying dart
One murderer in a whodunnit
One foot trod on, dancing
One callous on sole, walking
A finger burnt by smoking
An aching wrist whilst typing
One side of face bigger than tother
One leg shorter than the other
One tyre flatter than the rest
One pub idiot being a pest
One who thinks they're the best
One trying to get things off their chest
One who gets the gorgeous hunk
An arse attempting to light his trunk
One footie fan who thinks they can sing
One competitor who always wins
One who likes to ask that awkward question
One who always answers back
One who brings a bone of contention
One who gets the sack
One item of clothing caught on barbwire
One who nicks others' toys
But there's at least one smacking vampire
Starring in The Smacca Boys
& they are Just Like me!