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Hi.
Oh...you're talking to me then?
Yeah, course.
I wasn't sure if you'd say hello after all that stuff a few months back.
I was just having a weird time of it that's all. I was getting fed up with all the lectures. Not just from you that time, but from other people too. All of a sudden, my life was a joke and everyone thought they had the right to keep digging into it and make fun. Then, when you started as well, I just went off on one.
I was only thinking of you. It's not nice to think someone's messing your mates about. I couldn't just stand by and say nothing.
I know...but, at the time, I was happy to be messed about. I didn't want to hear the truth. I did know it. I just didn't want to hear it. When you spend so much time on your own, you just want someone...anyone. You start off fussy, then you become this desperate idiot. Well I did anyway.
You weren't desperate though. You just looked in the wrong place for a bloke that's all. You were lonely and vulnerable.
Well, a couple of years ago, I wouldn't have even entertained all his shit. Then, I got so fed up with having nothing, I was just happy to listen to someone's voice on the phone...telling me how wonderful I am. Even a text asking how I am meant a lot.
You're worth more than that.
Yeah, so everyone kept telling me. It didn't help though. They all gave me their advice and poked fun at me...then off they went, back into their perfect lives and left me to it.
You weren't ready to listen though. I think you needed to work your own way through it. You had to feel completely fed up with it all yourself before you could do anything about it.
Well, I felt like a complete and utter mug, but I kind of stopped myself thinking too hard about what a prat I was. I just lived every day as it if was a lovely dream. What a sad cow eh?
Sorry, I know you must have been in a right state over it all. I take it you're not still with him then. Do you and him still chat and stuff?
No, it ended a while back and, yes, you were totally right about him. I knew at the time you were right, but I just didn't want to hear it. I liked the feeling of having someone special. Most of it was made up in my head. I found myself filling in all the gaps with whatever I wanted...to convince myself I wasn't being such a gullible twat.
So did he have a wife or girlfriend then?
Yeah, and she found out about me. She was straight on the phone, slagging me off for leading her boyfriend astray. Poor him, being pestered and forced to have sexy conversations online and phone sex while she was asleep in bed.
Didn't you feel a bit sorry for her?
Yeah I did. I'd hate someone to do that to me, but I just felt selfish. I wanted something for ME for a change. I wanted everything he was promising. I wanted all the things I thought I could have with him...if that makes sense. I didn't care about anyone else. I didn't know her. I don't know her kids. I just didn't think about them...only myself.
God, you really were in a bad way!
Yeah, I was. I liked how he made me feel though. I liked the attention. I didn't care how it came about.
You must have been gutted when it ended like that. Talk about reality check!
You know...I think I was hoping she would find out and end it for us. It was like a never-ending thing. I knew it wasn't real and I knew it wouldn't be something I could have. He wasn't real. I mean, he did exist, but the person he said he was...didn't.
Yeah, I know what you mean. You probably weren't strong enough to end it yourself 'cos you liked it all too much.
Yeah...well. I bet she's watching everything he does now. He must have left clues everywhere...phone, email, Facebook. If she found any of the pictures we sent each other. Well, you can imagine what sort of ones they were. She'd have gone mental. I'm sure there would have been plenty of other women too...not just me.
I dread to think...and there was you not even wanting to bother with Facebook.
I know, it's amazing how it just creeps into your life and takes over. I still use it.
No more attached men though...I hope.
No way, but I have met this other guy.
Oh, already?!
Hah...yeah, but not attached. Not going there again. I want something real.
So, what's he like then? Have you met him?
Yes, I have actually met him. We're not sure about each other totally yet, but he lives quite near. There's no problem with distance or anything. I've even met his mum.
It's quite serious then. I mean, he's involving you in his life and his family.
Yeah, we just have to see how it goes. The more I see him, the more I'm feeling comfortable with him. The kids are okay with him. He's quite easy-going.
Good for you. I'm so pleased you're all sorted out.
Yeah, me too.
You were never desperate you know.
It felt like it, but I feel more in control now.
We all need someone to make us feel worth something. We just look in the wrong places sometimes.
I suppose so.
If a guy's eager to chat to you online and get serious within minutes...chances are that's what he does all the time. He probably used to take it more slowly, but doesn't see the point in wooing the ladies anymore. Why waste time doing that, when you can try your luck straight away? If it doesn't work straight off, another one will be waiting in another chat window.
Yeah, yeah...I do get it. You don't have to keep telling me.
I know, but it's always the same. I mean, if you meet a bloke in a pub with his mates and they're all pissed...chances are, that's where he will always want to be. Sooner or later you'll be left at home while he's out beering it up.
I know!! Seriously, I'm okay now. I know I want something real, even if it goes wrong sometimes. I want a proper life.
Good. Sorry, it's just so hard to find the right bloke sometimes. Maybe, we should sit in a library and catch ourselves a couple of quiet intellectuals.
Omg, that would be so boring...even the word 'intellectual' makes me want to fall asleep!
Yeah we'd soon dump them for a couple of loud hooligans. Look at my fella...he's all over the place! We always want whats bad for us.
Yeah I know. Anyway, I'm happy at the moment and my boyfriend is a real person!
Haha...yeah, it helps!
It does. To think I met him on Facebook. Imagine...without all this modern technology, I'd never have even known he existed.
Yep...so, apart from the stupid git that messed you about, I did you a favour by encouraging you to join up!
Yeah, it's all down to you! So, if this goes wrong, I'll be blaming you!
Of course!! Actually, talking of Facebook, I went on your farm the other day to see if you'd been around. I figured, if you'd been farming, it meant you were okay. I know...stupid...and all your crops are dead by the way!
Oh bloody hell...who gives a shit!?
I know!
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