Well, let me start by saying I love Philomena and Gwennie to bits. I think it is difficult for them to understand me sometimes. Just imagine how you'd feel if you had half of your mind taken away. I get confused sometimes, I'm not sure whether I am good or bad! I desperately want to be good and I am trying but..........well, I suppose we shouldn't interfere with nature
It's easy for them, they can fight and look after themselves but I get scared because I'm lost when it comes to fighting. Oh I know I have my dragons but..........I decided to practice shooting with a bow and arrow so I could be useful to them and.....I suppose you saw how that ended!
That's why I stick up for the knights, I'm scared they'll get fed up and leave us and.....I feel secure knowing they are there to protect us. Philomena says I am disrespectful to the knights but....I don't mean to be. I don't trust Elios because he is quite nasty to me when Philomena's not around, she doesn't see any of that.
I really have no intention of joining the pillar Bretheren but I say stupid things when I get frustrated, I can't help it. I will try not to threaten to join them again.....if they allow me back in the tavern. When Philomena took her protection spell away, I panicked and just ran..........that's how I ended up here. I did think about leaving Grimney and just getting as far away as possible ...........sometimes I don't know where I belong.
I worry about Jezebel too, she really does seem to have lost her darkness but.........maybe they are right about her, I can be a bit gullible sometimes..........
I don't want to stay here because I'm aware I'm stopping you from doing your writing. I don't want to go to the black pillar because those monsters would just eat someone like me alive and.......I don't really want to go back to the tavern because..........I just keep causing problems for the tavern folk which isn't really fair I know after.....they've been so good to me.
Philomena says I act like a spoilt child and I suppose she's right but.........she just doesn't understand what I'm going through, nobody does. I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm just trying to explain how I feel and why I act the way I do. I really hate myself sometimes.
People keep saying I'm jealous of Philomena and, in a way I suppose they're right. She has her man standing by her when times get tough, who have I got? I learned that Morton is away having a nice seaside holiday while I'm struggling with.......everything. That really hurt me because I have never been to the seaside, I would love to go, why did he go off without me? I don't think he loves me, he just plays with me when it suits him.
I am so sorry Word Wizard, I'm taking your time up when you should be writing......What are you writing by the way?
Anyway, thank you for the tea and jelly babies, I will leave you in peace now........